This is not a research paper on Anger, only my thought process on this topic, which kept lingering in my mind for a very long time.
What is Anger?
Anger is an emotion due to antagonism towards a person or sometimes towards an object (?), when you feel that the person has done an injustice or the object doesn’t meet your expectation or sometimes objects and animals are ill treated as a vent out of anger that was caused by somebody else.
Where it surge?
The irony is mostly we don’t get an opportunity to express anger due to the following reasons;
1. 1.The person is superior to you, in terms of “Money”, “Muscle” , “Matter” & “Position”
2. 2.The person is not in near vicinity and not reachable
3. 3.The fear of relationship being severed
It’s so easy to express anger if all the above situations goes vice versa, ie.
1. 1. The person is inferior to you, in terms of “Money”, “Muscle”, “Matter” & “Position”
2. 2.The person in the vicinity or reachable
3. 3.You don’t value the relationship
“Valuing the relationship” doesn’t mean hatred all the time, it is more on psychological view point of the person or the relationship is bound to you and you have every right to express or abuse.
The so called ‘Anger’ mostly surge into the weaker sex or on whom we have an edge, in terms of dependency, relationship and family bonding. The victims are mostly “kids” and “women” (sometimes men), for the fact that they can’t defend but to put up with our aggression.
Is it normal?
Anger is a normal and healthy emotion, everyone will experience when it is completely in control. You are a human when you have all emotions; especially anger is in your control. You turn into a beast when anger engulfs you and you in turn engulf all those who come across your way!
Research says nearly 125 million people in India have mental illness problem, one of the cause is “Anger”.
Anger is caused due to societal pressure, upbringing style, physical abuse, male dominance society, cultural factors, economical factors, growing violence and corruption.
The very common formation:
When you are deprived of your basics, your emotions bloats up, when your emotions are suppressed, your mind is filled with anger, when there is no vent out for anger, that leads to violence, an abusive mentality against a particular caste, creed, gender, sex and sometimes objects and animals too.
The stardom makes the followers crazy and they get easily instigated and we see the wars over the virtual industry stardom and so with the political parties’ followers, every conspiracy leads to personal attacks. Be it anything, you will witness the loss only for the followers and mediators and never for the parties who got confronted.
Can Anger be positive?
Anger directed in the proper stream, will keep you healthy, and leads to several revolution in family and in the world. Anger by the soldiers during the British regime, triggered the fire for freedom fight, an insult due to racism, the strong jolt felt, made Gandhi to start his freedom fight, constant suppression and denial, made Anna Hazare to start his next freedom struggle for the country from corruption.
Many emerged as strong personalities by stimulating their anger constructively even though they were victimized by suppression. Michael Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi, and many political leaders in our current era and many more including the common men and women in our day to day life can be named as those who learnt to convert the anger as a stimulator to their success instead of getting succumbed to anger.
How we can make it constructive?
We need to know how to stimulate our anger, how to control and how to vent out. Direct confrontation mostly helps, clarifying the preconceived notion about each other instead of feeding to the vengeance due to constant perception building. Words play a key role in anger, if you hold your tongue for a moment you will save a relationship for life. Abusive words, disrespectful language leads to commotion.
In today’s world, everybody is overwhelmed with pressure and in constant comparison of people above them in terms of money, fame, position, education and beauty. The constant comparison makes them crazy and instigates them to work hard, gain more. You are on the right track, if you know where to go and where to stop and if you have the mental ability to accept failure and success as two sides of the coin.
Anger, the trap
The day you fail, and when your mind stop thinking about possible actions for your success, you get into a feeling of neglect, slowly emerges into depression and results in extreme outlet of anger to all unknown!
Finally, when you are angry, hold on to your breath, give a pause and shift your mind to think different, from the other person’s point of view, ease down with words, do express your dissatisfaction and anger in a more constructive way rather than destructive.
At the end, we are all social animals and we can’t stand alone by destroying every single relationship!
Get angry against all social injustice, but never get trapped with words! To lose or to gain, is all in your hand!